How to be happy in the Armed Forces of Ukraine
The topic of war and military service is relevant for many Ukrainians. Many men and young men who had many plans for life and were moving in their own direction in life were mobilized to defend the country from the aggressor who is known around the world. P. S.: many people already write "Russia" with a small letter, which reflects how low the moral state of this country has fallen, which went to encroach on lands that are foreign to it. But my article is not exactly about that. I would like to move to the level of a military person and express my thoughts on how, from my relatively short military experience, it is possible to truly live life, being in a military unit 6 or even 7 days a week and depending on the rules of the Armed Forces Charter.
I have been serving since the spring of 2024, and the first period was really psychologically difficult and incomprehensible for me, because it so happened that I did not go into service myself, although I had planned to voluntarily join the Armed Forces of Ukraine for some position as an IT specialist. However, the army is usually the first to dictates its conditions and expectations from a person: from small everyday things to those related to career/service growth. And one way or another, you are forced to adapt to these conditions.
You will probably say that happiness is a rather individual concept, and you will be right.
What does happiness depend on? From the realization that you are valuable and important to someone, from something that God gives or has given you, sometimes from success and self-realization, from a sense of personal freedom and opportunities... In the end, from the fact that you are satisfied with where you are going in life, because if you are not sure where the path of life will lead you, then there is no point in starting happiness. Even when this road is full of trials and pain, if you know what you are fighting for, if intangible values are embedded in this struggle, and if you are not alone in this struggle, you will certainly be happy. But does suffering (including from health problems related to service) and when comrades die, and when life is at constant risk, bring happiness? I will write my thoughts on this below in the section "The ability to find happiness in a combat zone".
When I thought about what we are fighting for, first of all, for freedom: the freedom to think and speak freely, to build a life and your own independent projects, the freedom to go to church regardless of denomination (and freedom of religion in general). Russia is trying to spread its influence over the world and turn the territories it has seized into slave societies, where other values will prevail, pleasing not to God but to the Kremlin. Will such a society be happy? Most likely not. Understanding this, you invest in building the good for your native country, protecting the rights of society in the way that you can now, and the happiness of the country as a whole.
We become happier when we share happiness or even provide it to others. I am not idealizing, but if you have a different opinion, I would give an analogy with fire. Fire, in principle, brings warmth, as does happiness! A lamp or a simple candle that you can light in your home may burn for a while, but soon its flame will go out. If you light other candles during this time, the common flame will burn longer. Similarly, if one candle does not illuminate a space very much, then several or many candles will illuminate it better than one candle. The same is true with happiness: in my opinion, if it is not spread to others, it has the property of fading. Perhaps you are the person I would challenge to think that you were not created only for yourself, only to live for yourself. I am the kind of person who, while it may have seemed so to me a long time ago, now, in the current realities of life, I cannot imagine how one can be happy (not only as a soldier) without sharing happiness with others. Although I am not a supporter of Buddhism, since Buddhism does not open up the possibility for a person to come to the true God, who is the Creator, I remembered the thought voiced by Gautama:
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
Someone would say: "Electric lamps have been used for a long time, and they are much more durable and reliable." This is true, and this leads me to two conclusions.
- If you don't light other candles, your fire will eventually go out, and at best you will look for a source to light up yourself again. You can try to find happiness for yourself over and over again, until you realize that all this loses its meaning if it is not shared with another person or people. On a global scale, it becomes clear that some who experience grief, anxiety, occupation, exile, etc., have almost no happiness left, while many people try to find happiness only for themselves every time. And for some, the choice to share happiness will concern their family or household, and for someone for whom it may mean something more, even something that such a person was not prepared for.
- If you don’t have a permanent (eternal) source of power, like an electric source, you will be in constant search of this happiness, and then you will never reach the stage where you can give without feeling a certain risk in your soul – the risk of losing what you have if you give. Many people look for happiness in temporary material things. And the way to share it with someone (in my experience) often turns out to be a whole series of measures – how to make yourself and others happy for as long as possible and not remain at a loss. If you choose an inexhaustible source for happiness and your motivation is love, kindness, generosity, interest in a person or people, empathy – you will not chase the temporary and will be able to give something more valuable than what brings a temporary effect.
Dividing the intangible does not mean losing the intangible in itself. I deliberately use the metaphor "to divide is to multiply" here, because in this sense, dividing is not the same as getting rid of it. 🙂
For me, as a believer in the triune God, this unchanging source is God himself. At one time, the Israelite King David, who also led a large army, compared God's Word and God's Law to light and a lamp:
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105
By the way, a Christian friend of mine gave me a souvenir with this quote for my birthday. It was in 2022, when a full-scale war began. At first we volunteered together, and a few years later he and I began serving in the army, only in different units.
The driving force in any, even unfavorable and turbulent periods of life, is always values, and the reason for unchanging happiness is the same unchanging driving force.
Undoubtedly, for this you need to believe: that this source is effective, that it makes sense to use it practically... If a person uses such a lamp, he will certainly want to make it useful for those around him. Like a traveler who found a precious treasure and did not hide it, knowing that the power of this treasure can bring happiness and light to this world.
...and no one lights a lamp and puts it under a clay pot. Instead, it is placed on a lampstand, where it can give light to everyone in the house.
Matthew 5:15
Coming back to the topic of serving in the army
If you are a soldier and doubt this, think about it more on a local level: how can you support your comrade, somehow improve the lives of yourself and others to the extent that it is possible for you? It is no secret that many of them can catch up on the influx of the necessary hormones of joy through alcohol. And you can replace this with good, pleasant conversations with them, do art with them in their free time, buy chocolates for your friends, dream together. You can decide to communicate with your comrades on a daily basis on interesting topics, and even agree to share together something that interests you both the most, talk about what you most desire.
In the army, you will 100% find at least a few people who have an interesting past, and from whom you can learn something. Of course, in many cases there will not be enough time for this. Only if you take into account the fact that the war lasts for years, such opportunities should exist.
When you realize the importance of the work you do, it also causes a feeling of happiness, albeit at a minimal level. I realize the importance of my work in the military structure. Why? Isn't it more important for me personally to grow in my field as a developer, to build my own career and my own life? From my hundreds of thoughts on this, I would say that to some extent yes, but if you look at my place in this world from another perspective - more global - it becomes clear that I am doing some useful work not only for my cell, my country, but also for peace and justice and the spread of the Kingdom of God on the world plane. The Poles and other Western allies of my country are wary of the attack of Russia. These citizens are also afraid that their freedom will be stolen by a great empire that stands on the side of evil. This makes me think about how important my work as a military man, as a local unit, is. In one way or another, I joined the defense of human rights. I have a rear service, but this also counts, since at present the army includes a wide range of activities that are necessary together. Other military personnel directly serve, repelling enemy attacks, protecting national values, building a material and spiritual shield against the enemy.
The happiness of a military person is like the happiness of any other person: which begins with family happiness or happiness in a circle of friends, and can grow, supported by the factors that I have voiced. In my opinion, there are no clear boundaries that can divide civilians and military people into two completely different categories. The gap between them should disappear, and it depends on society. But the truth is that the happiness of the military now depends very much on how willingly society is ready to accept and support them.
And the truth is that a person's resource is exhaustible. He cannot constantly put himself at risk, constantly be in tension, even just do the same job in non-rear service. Someone must replace him. Unfortunately, our state has not yet managed to ensure such mutual assistance, when some will serve for 5 years and will be released for two years after that, while others will take their positions. Most of the military serve without a term, because the war continues and it is not known when it will end. This is a good reason for high-ranking officials and officials to think about introducing the necessary changes in legislation and making society and families happier, because in this we become more invincible and ready to continue the joint struggle. But this can also be a small call to think, to those who are not yet serving.
A good way to be happy in the Armed Forces of Ukraine is to serve while also taking care of your personal life: take annual leave, see your loved ones, go for walks and do horizontal bars whenever possible, play tennis or the guitar, make new good friends, move towards your long-awaited marriage (if you are not yet married, although, in my opinion, you need to be happy even before marriage), get to know the city near your military unit by taking local excursions, join a conference in your professional field, listen to music that fills you spiritually, etc. If you have the opportunity (your working hours are 5 and a half days a week) and your health allows you, join a group in some kind of art, or a community service, or a church team in something. It is not for nothing that they say that rest is a change of activity. The main thing is that the community you choose should lead you to your God-given calling, and on the other hand, that you feel that you are a significant part of this community. I will not write about trips to relatives on weekends, since few people manage to do them, and not every command can give permission. If you stay in the unit for the weekend, buy a good book, learn something new and exciting, listen to a Sunday sermon that will build you up spiritually. Some psychologists recommend doing something you have not done before, or, for example, walking new roads. If you love animals, get yourself a pet - in my experience, the military command should not be against it.
Why was the first period difficult for me?
When I was taken into service, I did not know what to expect next. I was not satisfied with the position I was given at the beginning, and I did everything possible to change it, and I succeeded. Words of apostle Mathew 7:7-8: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Insist on what you consider valuable and fair, and eventually someone will respond to you. So, if you also feel that you are in the wrong place for you, and your service does not bring you any moral satisfaction – let your military leadership know about it. If there is no position in your military unit where you could serve, or senior commanders cannot offer you anything, find a position for yourself in another military unit. Today, this is easy to do through the "Army+" mobile application (you can apply for a new position once every six months after serving in the current military unit). First, look for a unit with good command, which is not indifferent to its subordinates and their fate. Try to choose a good position for yourself, where you could grow. I understand that not all commanders are responsive commanders, there are many with whom you would not want to deal, but fate brought them together. In this case, call for help from a military lawyer, try to insist but with wisdom and with a balanced, not hot-tempered mind, knowing that the commander is also accountable to his superiors.
The ability to find happiness in a combat zone
The topic I will talk about is really complicated. I will be honest, I will not write much because of the reality that I myself have not gone through, but which many people with whom I have been connected in life have gone through or are going through.
Many soldiers may boldly express me: It is easy to talk about happiness and opportunities while serving in the rear. If you are this person, and if You have not really lost hope that happiness is real for you, I am sure that you will describe it from other perspectives and in other forms (about the ways happiness can be fullfilled in such time and conditions).
In the zones close to the LBZ there is nothing romantic and like what is filmed in Hollywood movies. The reality is quite harsh and sad. It is especially difficult for those who do not know how to quickly adapt to the conditions of survival. When a soldier is worried about how to save himself and his comrades, and how to complete the task, the most basic things can bring happiness: support, good weather, food with hot tea or coffee, relative safety, the lives of loved ones and communication with them when possible, and good humor, without which the army can often "go to pieces" - even such seemingly small things give rise to joy, because they are much less appreciated in an ordinary environment, where this is everyday life.
However, if in ordinary life there is still a spectrum of choice of what will bring you happiness, then in the combat zone the focus shifts to moral values.
I have probably heard a similar opinion from several people: In war, you and your values are revealed as if under a litmus test: the thoughts that you previously had deep inside yourself are manifested in words and even in actions. Your authenticity becomes obvious to others.
That is why psychologists and chaplains are so needed there – those who can not only direct you to the right thoughts and show support for those who protect us, but also help in what a person cannot help himself – to find the right focus, not to lose himself, and not to lose happiness, which should be based on the intangible, or to find it.
One of the things that has upset me since I became a soldier is the value of "Every man for himself", which has been preserved in the army since the Soviet era. It leaves no choice if there are no people who think differently. And it's not even that it looks natural in war. If it is natural that it gives you the opportunity to learn to save your life, so that you can then know how to care for others, then will it also encourage you to think in moral categories if you are not taught anything else? Isn't this why there are human losses that could not have happened, desertion and internal conflicts at various levels? Such a model of thinking will not bring happiness. But the principle of mutual assistance, in contrast to the previous principle, leads to unity, community. It is it that can lead to long-term happiness of the type (2) or (3) as in my illustration above.
I agree that there are many things in the army that take away peace in the short term, and happiness in the long term, or reduce it. Many of my acquaintances hold the thought: "You served, did your best, you showed courage... Now exhale for the rest." Back when I served in 2024, a comrade who had worked as a driver for a long time said that it is worth living in the moment, not worrying about tomorrow. At that time, I had not yet overcome depression, although I was far from the combat zone, and his idea that there is a point in receiving from life what it gives (good) and thinking positively caused dissonance in my head, given the factors that greatly disturbed me at that time. They were more of a philosophy than a thought that "yeah, it's worth to listen to this man", and precisely because I wanted to change at least what was possible for me. And this required:
- process the emotions (rather than burying them), long prayer and frequent communication with people (I was already surrounded by other people at that time)
- time alone, deep breathing practice, even visiting a psychologist
- life in action, that is, living biblical values, which, in my conviction and experience, are not only able to improve your condition, but also change the reality around you in some measure.
Later, I listened to the advice of this brother in army, and after a while the puzzles regarding life and spiritual advice formed into a general picture, which allowed my happiness to have movement, and not to be static.
Life (if you can call it that) or being in a zone close to the battle line is not something I can describe here. Therefore, it would be hypocritical for me to suggest that those who are going through something like this now accept what they are. Considering all that destroys, and not just does not bring happiness.
If it is you who is going through this, I would like to thank you, because You are one of those people because of whom even me and my family are relatively safe. And what I could suggest to you is to think about everything that I described above, and about the last point that I will add below.
What can make you happy is not something that you can get or not get with a 50%/50% guarantee. For example, we may need even simple basic things, and time with loved ones – I sincerely wish you to have it!
Unfortunately, there is no one hundred percent guarantee of this. But what can inspire and bring strength? It is the discovery of what is permanent. It is what begins with the thought: "I can live with God here and now. I live morally, I am with those who also experience danger, who fight for peace and show love for their countryman." If you have despaired or do not believe in God at all, or have other point of view about Him, seek Him with all your heart. If on the contrary, you can say: "Christ, You have redeemed me, although I am sinful and imperfect, I thank You that thanks to You my life will continue after my last breath on earth, although in a different form. Defend my family and these people with whom I fight."
It may seem to you that each of us (military) are grains of sand in this universe, and we are often unable to withstand the storms, the attacks of the enemy, and our thoughts do not touch the people who have power (authority) in their hands. But let this not become an obstacle to your spiritual life! If you have any hope, do not lose it, in what you are moving towards, ask God for these opportunities.
When the people of Israel faced challenges and Moses, their leader, died, it was God's will that Joshua should be their successor. The Lord's word to him was this:
Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Comments
No Comments